I'm so totally screwed

[Ravenlunasong aka GuerillaStar]

Man, things are screwed up right now. I don't even know how I'm staying chipper! Lol, I guess it's coz I'm so used to making sure mum and dad don't know if I'm worried, I'm used to just pushing things aside. This time though, I'm not so sure I'm winning.

I just got an email from my bank to say I went overdrawn on my bank account yesterday. It was only by £9, for some groceries, but because it was on 2 separate transactions, I'm being charged bank charges on both transactions, plus a charge for going into unauthorised overdraft. Both are gonna be taken out of my account on Oct 25, so I have until then to save up, which means I'm gonna have to be creative in my shopping as I only get £75 a week in benefits, since I look after my parents, and the charges plus overdraft add up to £107 (£35 for each of the 2 transactions and £28 for being overdrawn, plus the £9 I went overdrawn). Which means, I have 2 weeks in which to save £54.50 a week out of my £75 a week, and still pay for my food, phone, store card, new shoes (I'm saving up for some to get me through winter as the ones I have now are on their last legs. I have to admit though, 5 years is a pretty darn good length of time for supermarket sneakers to last), save up for Christmas and my dad's 80th and somehow get together my £120 tuition fees before exam time in January....I'm so screwed.

On top of that, I've just gotten over another bout of food poisoning. This one lasted a full week before wearing off, so the doc reckons it was bad chicken. What worries me is that we had just bought the chicken the day before we ate it and had put it straight in the freezer so it must've been bad when we bought it. Not good.

On the plus side, I'm back to sleeping in my own bed again! I've been sleeping on the sofa for goodness knows how long, definitely over a month, which is not fun considering it's a sofa bed that has something wrong with the mechanism so you wake up with bruises on your back from a bar across the middle.

Oh yes, and the bf just got a new job, and I found out about it by happening to see it on Facebook, 3 days after he posted it. It's getting to the point that I'm lucky to hear from him once a month at the moment, so I'm not sure what's gonna happen.

Right now, I just wish I knew what to do. Moneywise, lovewise, familywise...anywise. Either that, or had someone to hang out with or just talk to that I could be face to face with, ya know? I haven't seen anyone, other than people coming to the door, my family, or people I've bumped into at the store, since the beginning of September. I haven't even talked to anyone online or on the phone apart from 1 phone convo with a friend for her bday and one MSN chat with my best friend. I swear, I just need human contact before I go stircrazy lol.

Oh yes, and today's quote of the post comes from Brian Tracy. No idea who he is or was, I just randomly spotted this online a while back and thought it summed up the EGP quite nicely:

"All successful people, men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose."

And of course, the immortal words of Mahatma Gandhi:

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

Love yaz!